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Talk:Gil/@comment-24.36.148.85-20130922131122/@comment-106.68.25.56-20150218093138
SpongeBob: on Patrick's rock Get up Patrick! It's time! opens up *'Patrick:' waking up Time for what? *'SpongeBob:' The big shin-dig! Remember? *'Patrick:' No, besides, I don't really think my shins should be involved. They're a bit flabby today. his foot *'SpongeBob:' That's shin dig buddy. We're spending the day at the beach in the honor of our best friendship. *'Patrick:' The beach! Just you and me!? rips off his pants showing his swim trunks; Patrick rips off his skin showing his insides So am I ready for the beach SpongeBob? *'SpongeBob:' Uhhh... Sure. A little sunscreen and I'm sure you'll be fine! transition to a bus coming by. SpongeBob and Patrick shove a huge bag of stuff onto it I'm spending the whole day at the beach with my best friend. his bag onto a seat with someone sitting in the seat. SpongeBob and Patrick both cram themselves on the same seat along with the guy *'Guy on Bus:' You're hurting me! *'SpongeBob:' the guy in front of him on the shoulder (Harold) Guess what? *'Person in front of him (Harold):' sigh What? *'SpongeBob:' I'm going to the beach with my best friend!!! the bus driver's shoulder Ooohhhh buuusss drrrivvver! *'Bus driver:' What? *'SpongeBob:' Okay, out of everybody on this bus, guess which one is my best friend? *'Bus driver:' I don't care. *'SpongeBob:' You know what this situation calls for. Patrick! takes out a keyboard guitar, and Patrick takes out an accordion A few verses of the best friend tune! and Patrick start playing and singing♪Ohhhh best fr-♪ bus stops and SpongeBob and Patrick are kicked off it Hey! Wait! This is not our stop! Oh, how are we going to get to the beach now, Patrick? We don't even know where we are. *'Patrick:' I knew it! We've been abandoned! *'SpongeBob:' No! No! Patrick! No one is ever going to find us out here! sobbing *'Volleyball player:' SpongeBob in the head with a volleyball A little help bro? *'Patrick:' Small plastic disc that you throw!!! claps I love to play... small plastic disc that you throw! *'SpongeBob:' Look Patrick! We made it! Hey best friend? Check this out! around and his pants appear to be sagging. Reaches in his pants and takes out a Frisbee It's a small plastic disc that you throw! *'SpongeBob:' I do too, buddy. If only small plastic disc that you throw had a shorter, catchier name. *'Patrick:' Ohhh...hmmm... How about small plastic disc that you toss!? *'SpongeBob:' "Perfect! Now run along, Patrick and I'll winks toss it to you! *'Patrick:' runs Ha ha ha ha. *'SpongeBob:' Ready?! Frisbee. Patrick is running and laughing. He steps on two people and kicks sand in a guy's sandwich *'Guy on towel next to sandwich guy:' Ha ha ha! That's why they call it a sandwich! kicks sand in his mouth while trying to catch the Frisbee. He almost runs into a pane of glass being carried by two workers. He crashes through an ice cream cart, and then into a lifeguard tower *'Patrick:' rubble of the life guard tower, Frisbee lands in his hand I caught it! Pants Wasn't that cool, SpongeBob? *'Life Guard:' out from underneath the tower rubble I can assure you, that that was not cool! Just look at what you've done! Your buffoonery has destroyed the lifeguard tower! Why don't you find something to do that's less obnoxious? *'Patrick:' Like what? *'Life Guard:' I don't know, go play in the sand or something! *'Patrick:' Well, I don't know. Playing with the sand sounds pretty boring. *'SpongeBob:' Nonsense, Patrick. There are plenty of fun things to do in the sand. We can draw, or practice our cursive writing, or... *'Patrick:' Boring, SpongeBob, boring! *'SpongeBob:' I know, we can make sand castles! *'Patrick:' That sounds SpongeBob un-boring!" *'SpongeBob:' No one's ever been annoyed by a sand castle. Bubble transition to him constructing a sand castle. SpongeBob talks to the man he has drawn in a window of his castle Nothing quite like the joy of sand castling, eh, buddy? Patrick How ya doing over there? *'Patrick:' sand Everything's dandy in Patrick's Kingdom. *'SpongeBob:' Oh, a structure like that can't protect a king and his subjects. Here, let me help you. First, you should start all over. rubbing down Patrick's sand mound *'Patrick:' Whoa! What are you doing!? You destroyed my castle! *'SpongeBob:' I'm just trying to help, buddy! *'Patrick:' Well, I don't need any help. *'Patrick's Architect:' Here are those architectural plans you requested. *'Patrick:' Why thank you. Here's a little something for you." architect sand money which promptly disintegrates in his hands *'SpongeBob:' Well I suppose I should just tend to the affairs of my own realm. the little man in his sand castle And I'll start by making a queen to rule by your side. *'Patrick:' a ball of sand at SpongeBob's castle, destroying it Now, we're even! *'SpongeBob:' All right Patrick, have it your way. a line in the sand separating the two of them "You keep to your territory and I'll keep to mine. to himself and quickly builds an even larger and better castle *'Patrick:' at his plans Now this'll show SpongeBob that he's not the only one who can build a castle! Let's see SpongeBob destroy this castle! a castle with spikes on top and a skull and crossbones symbol on the door *'SpongeBob:' seeing Patrick's new castle I better build a wall just in case King Pinky gets any funny ideas. building a wall but then notices that Patrick's castle is over the borderline Oh sir, you built onto my side. *'Patrick:' So? *'SpongeBob:' mad So, you don't do that!!! [ chops off the portion of Patrick's castle that is crossing] There! That restores the integrity of our shared border. *'Patrick:' You tyrant! You've done it again! I'll show you what for! a hammer out of sand and charges toward SpongeBob's castle *'SpongeBob:' But what for what!? *'Patrick:' SpongeBob's castle, completely destroying it Now we're even... again! *'SpongeBob:' Okay Patrick, I can accept that. No more destruction from this point forward, okay? Okay, back to square one again. this huge castle and Patrick does the same. Bubble transition to SpongeBob blowing a medieval horn I hereby propose a non-aggression treaty to end hostilities between our two kingdoms. signs SpongeBob's sand made treaty Patrick, by signing this historic armistice you have brought peace to our lands. May your kingdom prosper! Well that went well!" shoots a sand arrow at SpongeBob's castle What are you doing!? What about the treaty!? *'Patrick:' This treaty isn't worth the sand it's printed on! disentigrates *'SpongeBob:' Oh is that so!?" Well if you think you can take down this castle, my answer is *'Patrick:' No way! You started it. *'SpongeBob:' Fine! Have it your way. *'Patrick:' menacingly Whatever. is loading a catapult No no no no no. chops the catapult rope. Patrick screams as the sand rocks from SpongeBob's catapult hurl toward him destroying Patrick's army. SpongeBob laughs and blows another horn. SpongeBob's army emerges from his castle and charges toward Patrick. Patrick screams again. SpongeBob's army starts to ram down the door to Patrick's castle. Patrick panics and builds a cannon. SpongeBob's army breaks the door Oh hello! And goodbye. cannon's string. SpongeBob's army rushes in his castle away from the cannonball *'SpongeBob:' Come on! the door to his castle How do you like them apples goes over the wall and destroys the army *'Patrick:' from atop his castle You'll never win! Do you hear me!? *'SpongeBob:' inside a high tech sand castle Uh huh... mmm hmm. Well put general! We'll create a surprise military diversion and break through enemy lines. What say you? constructed general starts to fall apart Yes! We'll ready ourselves immediately! a tank that then crashes through his own castle and towards Patrick's How do you like me now? *'Patrick:' a robot already built that punches through his own castle I like you this much! up SpongeBob's tank with SpongeBob screaming inside Feel me! *'SpongeBob:' again. He presses a button in his tank blowing up Patrick's robot. He emerges from his tank and sees Patrick inside his robot head Patrick... Patrick! Are you okay!? *'Patrick:' quietly The question is... will you be!? a button in his robot head. The robot flies into the air with SpongeBob still hanging on. SpongeBob looks down and sees how high up he is. He then slips and falls through the sky. Then he pulls a sand parachute and laughs No fair! *'SpongeBob:' gently down All is fair in love and war my friend slash enemy, or should I say, my friendenemy!? a sand button. Falls into his jet waiting in midair. SpongeBob presses a button in his jet while chasing Patrick's robot head Now let's have some real fun! fly toward Patrick. Patrick screams as he turns his robot away from the missiles *'Beach Onlooker:' the person next to him What was that!? Come on, we got to get out of here! people on the beach scream and run away *'Patrick:' now Oh ya! Two can play at this game! button. Patriot missiles emerge from the ground and fly toward SpongeBob *'SpongeBob:' the missiles Jumping jellyfish! WHOA! the plane down, does a loop, and crashes the missiles into Patrick's castle. SpongeBob laughs. Patrick's robot meets SpongeBob's in the air *'Patrick:' I wasn't going to do this, but you've left me no choice. drops an atomic bomb on SpongeBob's castle *'Gryphon:' gasps Let's beat it, dude! and another gryphon fly away as the bomb explodes. Patrick laughs menacingly. Patrick is interrupted by SpongeBob flying his jet directly toward Patrick. Patrick screams loudly. SpongeBob's jet crashes into Patrick's robot *'SpongeBob:' on the ground in pain Ohhhh. *'Patrick:' laying on the ground in pain Ohhhh. What happened? *'SpongeBob:' I'll tell you what happened Patrick... I got carried away. *'Patrick:' Me too...was it worth it? *'SpongeBob:' No, no, it wasn't. What started out as a fun dream turned into a horrible, brutal, nightmare. As the winds of time changed the silvery sands of these dunes to a new landscape, so let us hope that our own winds of change will change our spiritual dunes to a landscape of peace. Oh buddy, let's never forget this lesson. and Patrick hug *'Lifeguard:' Let's also not forget who's going to clean this place up. pans around showing the destruction caused *'SpongeBob & Patrick:' Oooh, uhhhh, ahhhh... *'Lifeguard:' Patrick a dustpan and hands SpongeBob a broom Better get started! You've got a lot of work to do. *'Patrick:' I bet I can clean up faster than you! *'SpongeBob:' Oh yeah? I bet you can't! *'Patrick:' Yes, I can! *'SpongeBob:' No, I can! *'Patrick:' Oh, I can! *'SpongeBob:' I can! *'Patrick:' Hey, look at this! *''and Patrick are relaxing on Squidward's couch'' *'SpongeBob:' Huh......Patrick *'Patrick:' Yeah? *'SpongeBob:' Whaddya wanna do today? *'Patrick:' I don't know. *'SpongeBob:' Well, I guess we could play something. How about a yo—? *'Patrick:' No. *'SpongeBob:' Yo. Buried Treasure Board Game? *'Patrick:' Nah. *'SpongeBob:' Dolly? *'Patrick:' Hm.....nope. No. Nope. Nope. Uh-uh. No. Nah. *'SpongeBob:' How about this? *'Old Man Jenkins:' Hello. *'Patrick:' Uh-uh. *'SpongeBob:' Hey, we could play with our Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy action figures! Ew. Barnacle Boy's all chewed up. And slimy. *'Patrick:' a Mermaid Man action figure Yeah, that'll happen. *'SpongeBob:' Ugh, there is just nothing to play with. *'Patrick:' There's gotta be something we can do. *'Squidward:' out of the shower Ladda-de ladd-dum ladda-do... Hey! What are you doing in my house? *'SpongeBob:' Hi, Squidward. Can you think of anything fun we can do? *'Squidward:' GET OUT!!! *'Patrick:' Yeah, We hadn't thought of that one. *'Squidward:' SpongeBob, Patrick, and a pile of toys out the door I believe this pile belongs to you. Old Man Jenkins out the door *'Old Man Jenkins:' Where are we goin' now, boys? *''to SpongeBob and Patrick walking'' *'SpongeBob:' sighs *'Patrick:' Ugh. I'm so bored. There's gotta be something we can do! helicopter drops a billboard that says "It's Coming!" *'SpongeBob and Patrick:' reading It's Coming? reading Oh, boy!♪It's coming! It's coming! It's coming!♪ the billboards *'Patrick:' another billboard Almost there! *'SpongeBob and Patrick:' We're almost there! *'Patrick:' another biilboard Here it is! *'SpongeBob:' another billboard Welcome to Bikini Bottom's newest... another billboard Toy store?! reading Ahhhhh! *'Patrick:' Ohhhhh! *'SpongeBob:' Oh yeah! *'SpongeBob and Patrick:' Yeah! Whoooo! *'SpongeBob:' Well, we're here. *'Patrick:' But where's the toy store? *'SpongeBob:' Well, I guess it's not open yet. *'Patrick:' Not...open? *''to cry. SpongeBob starts crying too. They hug. A crane drops the new toy store onto the ground. A construction worker comes out of the crane'' *'Construction worker:' the top of Patrick's head What are you cryin' about? *'Patrick:' We wanted to go to the toy store but it's not open yet. *'Construction worker:' Well, it's open now. Look! See? Feel better now? *'Patrick:' Mm-hm. *'Construction worker:' Then quit yer cryin' and get in there! Patrick into the toy store *'SpongeBob:' I got this. himself into the toy store Patrick! Patrick, get up... *'Patrick:' Uh, no thanks. I'm good down here. *'SpongeBob:' Look. lots of toys in the store Wow! gasp! Patrick, look at that. at a cashier *'Patrick:' Wow. *'Steve the Cashier:' Can I help you? *'SpongeBob:' That depends. Tell me. Do you like to''sings'' sing?! *'Steve:' Oh, no. *'SpongeBob:' Ahem! some spray in his mouth then plays a harmonica then begins to sing''La... *'Narrator:' Several song-filled hours later... *'SpongeBob:' ♪Toys! Glorious toys! La, la, la! Toys! Yeah!♪ Hey, Patrick. *'Patrick:' ''a wind-up toy Hey, SpongeBob. whats with the tutu? *'SpongeBob:' It's not a tutu! It's a man-tu! You can tell because it has voice extra support. voice I got the last one. *'Patrick:' Uh-huh. then lets go of the wind-up toy. It rams into a fish *'Fish:' Aaahhhhhhhhh! *'SpongeBob:' What a great day! I hope it never ends! *'Patrick:' Never! *'Voice on loudspeaker:' Attention, shoppers, the store is now closed. Please exit immediately. *'Baby:' cries But I don't wanna go! *'Timmy:' being dragged by his daddy Dad! I want it! back onto the scene but then his dad takes him back No! grunts Ah! *'SpongeBob:' Aw. The store's closing. We'll have to leave now. *'Patrick:' What part of "never" don't you understand? *'SpongeBob:' Patrick, we have to leave. *'Patrick:' Huh! I'm not moving. *'SpongeBob:' But they'll just come and kick us out! *'Patrick:' Not if we hide. *'SpongeBob:' Hide? Isn't that kinda sneaky? *'Patrick:' Oh, it's sneaky alright. Really sneaky. C'mon, haven't you always wanted to have a toy store all to yourself? *'SpongeBob:' No. But I do now. What do we do first?! *'Patrick:' We need to find a hiding spot where they'll never find us. And I know just the place. *'Guard worm:' and sniffs a doll house *'Security guard:' Come on, boy. Let's go. The store is empty, so go ahead and lock 'er up, Frank. *'Steve:' My name is Steve. *'Security guard:' Whatever floats your boat, Frank. *'Patrick:' The coast is clear. *''to get out of the doll house'' *'Patrick:' Push, SpongeBob! Push! Push, man, push! out of the doll house Okay, SpongeBob gimmie your hand. That's my boy. Brace yourself. *''SpongeBob out of the doll house and pounds in the chest'' *'SpongeBob:' Thanks, pal. Well, we did it. Yay! laughs *'Patrick:' Yay! Oh, this is so awesome. *'SpongeBob:' Nothing can ruin it! *''lights turn off. SpongeBob and Patrick run through the store while screaming. They eventually crash into each other'' *'SpongeBob:' Patrick, is that you? *'Patrick:' What? *'SpongeBob:' I said, "Is that you?" *'Patrick:' I can't hear you! It's too dark in here! Don't worry. I'll just use my Night Vision. *'SpongeBob:' You have Night Vision? *'Patrick:' on his Night Vision Yeah. *'SpongeBob:' How long have you had that? *'Patrick:' Remember that flashlight I shoved up my ear? *'SpongeBob:' Oh, yeah. *'Patrick:' Well, I guess it worked its way into my brain. flashlight burns out''Shoot! The batteries are dead! It's dark... and scary! ''to cry *'SpongeBob:' Calm down, buddy. We just need to find a light switch. But ya have to put me down first. *'Patrick:' Yeah. Right, SpongeBob. I let you down, we find the light switch, and everything turns all peachy! *'SpongeBob:' Yes. *'Patrick:' Look around you, SpongeBob! We're surrounded! *'SpongeBob:' By... toys? *'Patrick:' That...want...to...get us. *'SpongeBob:' his eyes at toys, and they become scary Gah!!! see scary toys Eeeeeeee!!! *'SpongeBob and Patrick:' toys fall on them. They look around the pile, and see a mound of scary toys in front of them Aaahhhhhh!!!! see a shadow of a moving figure. Aaahhhh! *''and Patrick continue screaming, but they get onto some skates while they run. They start to laugh but then they bump into balls, and fall off. the shadow continues to chase them, so they hide in a gumball machine. *'Patrick:' Are we gonna hide in here for the rest of our lives? *'SpongeBob:' No. *'Patrick:' Are we going to the ladies's room again? *'SpongeBob:' No. We're going to fight back and we are going to win! *'SpongeBob and Patrick:' ''cans of bubbles, licorice ropes, and paint. They gear up and try to look like The A-Team. *'Patrick:' That was fun! Now let's dress up like fairy princesses! shadow appears and is revealed to be the toy that Patrick had wound up earlier. *'SpongeBob:' Ready, Patrick? *'Patrick:' Let's get some! *'SpongeBob and Patrick:' bubbles at the wind-up toy. It keeps going''Aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Nothing can stop it!!! ''scared and cries *'SpongeBob:' It was nice knowin' ya, pal. *'Patrick:' I know. I'm an interesting guy. *''toy stops'' *'SpongeBob and Patrick:' Whew! *''winds it up again'' *'SpongeBob:' Patrick, don't! *'Patrick:' What? *'SpongeBob and Patrick:' Aaahhhhhhhh! run and run until they bump into a shelf with bubble soap and it falls on their eyes *'Steve:' the store again The Toy Barrel is now open for business. Prepare for more fun than you've ever had. *'Kids:' cheering *'SpongeBob and Patrick:' out of the store *'SpongeBob:' My eyes!! *'Patrick:' up little kid With Neptune as my witness, may you never experience the unholy terrors that are inside that store. Hey, they're open! to the store and laughs I love toys! *''Krusty Krab is shown and then inside. Squidward is reading a magazine, and hears a whale song. He looks in the kitchen and found out it was Patrick'' *'Patrick:' the whale song again *'SpongeBob:' in dolphin. Patrick and SpongeBob then make the noises several more times *'Squidward:' Can you two be quiet?! *''and Patrick struggle not to make the noises again, but end up doing so again, knocking Squidward off his feet'' *'Squidward:' Didn't think so. What are you barnacle heads doing, anyway? *'SpongeBob:' Patrick and I are practicing our favorite noises. Mine is a dolphin, laughing. again *'Patrick:' And my favorite is the plaintiff song of the blue whale. Ahem. the whale song. Two businessmen are walking down a street and one is a whale, who hears the song *'Whale Businessman:' Huh? Did you hear that? *'Fish Businessman:' What's wrong, Frank? *'Frank:' Whale Businessman That song. It sounds just like... Martha! *'Fish Businessman:' Frank, how many times do I have to tell you? Martha's no good for you! She's just no good! *''back to Krusty Krab'' *'Squidward:' Why would you want to practice such horrible sounds? *'SpongeBob:' It's one of the activities in our favorite magazine. up a magazine Simple-Ton: A ton of simple things to do! *'Squidward:' It must very challenging for you! *'SpongeBob:' Oh, it is. *'Patrick:' Yeah. And it made me look more smart-like. cross-eyed What does the magazine say we should do next? *'SpongeBob:' Well, let's take a look. book We've done everything in this issue. Oh, except for this one! The Best Friend Quiz! Do you really know your best friend? Oh, this should be easy. Patrick and I know everything about each other! *'Squidward:' Well, you two have fun with your mutual ignominious society. away from window *'SpongeBob & Patrick:' Bye, Squidward! *'Squidward:' back to window Morons. away again *'SpongeBob & Patrick:' Bye, again! *'SpongeBob:' You go first, Patrick. *'Patrick:' Oh, no. After you, old buddy. *'SpongeBob:' Oh, contrair. After you, mon aime. *'Patrick:' No. After you, old pal. *'SpongeBob:' No, no, no, no, no. After you, bestest buddy- boot is thrown at his head -Oof! *'Squidward:' offscreen Just pick one! And there's another three where that came from! *'SpongeBob:' I'll go first. on glasses Question 1: What is your best friend's favorite color? Hmmm.... I'm thinking........AQUAMARINE! *'Patrick:' I hate to burst your bubble, but my favorite color is........ it is aquamarine. Sorry I doubted you. *'SpongeBob:' No problem. Is your best friend right, or left-handed? The answer is right-handed. *'Patrick:' "Patrick iz awesome" on the Wall How did you know? *'SpongeBob:' Simple, Patrick! It's because you're my best friend! *'Patrick:' Aww! *'SpongeBob:' Is your best friend's belly button have an innie or an outie? *'Patrick:' & grabs front desk with Squidward in it No peeking! *'SpongeBob:' Laughs No need to peek, Patrick. I can do this with my eyes closed! eyes and thinks You haaaaaaaaaave... *'Patrick:' Oh! What will his answer be? *'Squidward:' sarcastically The suspense is killing me! *'SpongeBob:' ...an innie! *'Patrick:' Well, let's just check that theory! down at his belly button and sees he's an innie Innie! Echoes Wow! How does he do it? *'Squidward:' monotonously Magic. desk and walks away *'Patrick:' My turn! But, Give me some hard ones. Not like those softballs you answered. *'SpongeBob:' Okay! First question: What is your best friend's favorite color? *'Patrick:' Aw Man! Pulling out the big guns. Color? Color? *'SpongeBob:' to give Patrick a hint *'Patrick:' No, No! No Hints! Struggles Blue! No, clear! No! himself in the face That's not it. 14. *'SpongeBob:' The answer is...beige. *'Patrick:' Oh barnacles! I was so close. *'SpongeBob:' Question Two: Is your Best friend Right- or Left-Handed? *'Patrick:' back and forth Tricky...tricky. Hmm...right, or, left...right handed! *'SpongeBob:' Sorry Patrick, I'm ambidextrous! another pair of arms *'Patrick:' Oh, fish paste! *'SpongeBob:' Next question, does your best friend have an innie, or outie belly button? *'Patrick:' Belly Button, huh? ...an innie! *''is a loud beep that comes when there is a wrong answer to a question'' *'SpongeBob:' Sorry Patrick. I have an outie. SpongeBob's outie belly button *'SpongeBob:' Well, I'm sure you'll get the next one right! What is your best friend's favorite food? *'Patrick:' Uhhh... *'SpongeBob:' up a sign that says "krabby patty" in one hand, and an actual Krabby Patty in the other *'Patrick:' Oh! Oh! I remember! Your favorite food is a Chum Burger! *'SpongeBob:' and puts down sign and Krabby Patty No. *'Patrick:' I thought for sure I had that one. *'SpongeBob:' Okay, lets try an easy one. Is your best friend a boy or a girl? *'Patrick:' Oooh...that's a toughie. SpongeBob's muscles rugged biceps. SpongeBob's eyes Yet, delicate eyelashes. Hmmm...pass! *'SpongeBob:' work hat deflates. He clears his throat Uhhh...last question! *'Patrick:' hands Ooh! This is for the win! *'SpongeBob:' What shape is your best friend? *'Patrick:' Oh! I got this one! Um...can you repeat the question? *'SpongeBob:' What shape is your best friend, SpongeBob SQUAREPANTS? *'Patrick:' Round... Flat... Hexagon... *'SpongeBob:' SQUARE-pants. *'Patrick:' Ooh! It's right on the tip of my tongue! *'SpongeBob:' up a timer Five seconds. *'Patrick:' shouts Um! Um! Tricep... Pentagon... Mormorphis... *'SpongeBob:' Times up! rings *'Patrick:' TRIANGLE!! *''to Squidward adjusting his boat outside the kitchen, in the dining area'' *'Squidward:' Idiots, wrecking my boat! *''and Patrick enter the dining area'' *'Squidward:' So, who won your stupid quiz? *'Patrick:' It was a tie. *'Squidward:' the Simple-Ton magazine Let me see that. laughing a triangle?! Patrick didn't know anything about you! laughing And he's supposed to be your best friend? *'Patrick:' I know, it's like we're not friends at all! *'SpongeBob:' Now, now. Patrick may not have passed the quiz, but like a true best friend, he's always here for me. Right Patrick? to Patrick, but he's nowhere in sight Patrick? *''shows Patrick outside, buying ice cream from the ice cream truck'' *'Patrick:' Ice cream! *'Squidward:' Looks like your best friend isn't a friend at all! laughs *'SpongeBob:' outside to Patrick *'Patrick:' Hey, SpongeBob! I got you an ice cream. out an ice cream cone to SpongeBob *'SpongeBob:' the cone thank you best friend, Patrick. *'Patrick:' It's your favorite! Dill Pickle Swirl with mustard and extra bacon bits! *'SpongeBob:' Patrick, this is your favorite ice cream. My favorite is, plain vanilla. *'Patrick:' Oh, right. the ice cream out of SpongeBob's hand Well, more ice cream for me! *''eyes start watering'' *'Patrick:' Oh, can I borrow five bucks? *''miserably takes the money out of his pocket'' *'SpongeBob:' Here! Take your dirty, rotten money! the money onto the ground Ahhah! I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU ANYMORE! off, crying *'Ice Cream Man:' Hey, what's with him? *'Patrick:' I guess he didn't want any ice cream. *''to SpongeBob in his room, on his bed, sobbing. Gary comes by toward his food bowl, but sees it's holding SpongeBob's tears as they land right in the bowl'' *'Gary:' Meow-row. splashed by SpongeBob's tears as he sobs even harder. Gary slithers away crossly Meow-row-row... *'SpongeBob:' It just isn't fair! to calm himself down Oh, who needs Patrick anyway? his house Rest of my life, here I come! by Patrick, who's sunning himself on his rock *'Patrick:' Oh hey there, SpongeBob! *'SpongeBob:' himself Be strong, be strong, be strong, be strong! Good afternoon, Mr. Star. off *'Patrick:' See you later! *''to Sandy's Treedome, where Sandy is trying to comfort a sobbing SpongeBob'' *'SpongeBob:' Oh Sandy! It was awful! Truly awful! We were like complete strangers! *'Sandy:' You don't need to know everything about your best friend. That's what keeps the friendship interesting! *'SpongeBob:' Really? *'Sandy:' Maybe you and Patrick just need some time apart. *'SpongeBob:' sniffles Yeah! I'll have lots of fun without Patrick! off to Sandy's door, and on his way out, he breaks down in tears again *'Sandy:' herself What a crybaby. *''to SpongeBob walking'' *'SpongeBob:' I don't need Patrick! I can have a good time all by myself! out jellyfishing net I can go jellyfishing! up Patrick and I used to go jellyfishing...I can play leapfrog! over a rock, then pulls it up on him and tries to toss it over his head, but winds up under it and tries to slide out from under it I can blow bubbles! a bubble, but it looks just like Patrick, Uh, maybe not. pops, SpongeBob sighs.. Patrick comes by, singing nonsense *'SpongeBob:' Oh, it's Patrick! I can led him see me! a hole in the sand and hides in it. Patrick skips over the hole. SpongeBob checks to make sure he's gone, then exits the hole Well, he doesn't seem to be missing me at all. walks off, still singing nonsense I'd say he's gotten over our friendship so quickly! then returns to the whole, and digs a tunnel that's following Patrick.. Patrick is seen entering the Gym while SpongeBob watches him from afar *'SpongeBob:' Patrick works out at the gym? out binocular and watches Patrick exiting the Gym the Larry the Lobster And he's hanging out with Larry the Lobster? Maybe I don't know much about Patrick, either. *''to Larry and Patrick entering a cooking supply shop while SpongeBob spies on them'' *'SpongeBob:' Patrick from the inside of a blender Patrick's shopping for cookery? Very suspicious. Oh! He's coming back! back in the blender. Patrick comes to the blender and presses a button, activating the blender. Patrick then leaves. SpongeBob hand comes out of the blender and turns it off. And SpongeBob, now liquefied, exits the blender.. Cuts to Larry and Patrick purchasing something from the magic shop. As the exit, one of the top hats from the top hat display follows them *'SpongeBob:' inside the hat Hold it right there! out of the hat *'Larry the Lobster:' Hi, SpongeBob. *'Patrick:' We were just coming to see you. *'SpongeBob:' angrily Oh, I'll bet you were, to tell me about your new best friend, Larry, I suppose?! *'Larry:' Whoa, settle down, little dude. I don't want to get in the middle of, whatever this is. off *'Patrick:' While Larry is a great guy, loads of talent, and good looks. *'SpongeBob:' I know, he is pretty amazing... *'Patrick:' But he's not my best friend. He was just helping me buy a present. *'SpongeBob:' angrily Who for? Sandy? *'Patrick:' No. For my REAL best friend, SpongeBob SquarePants. out the bag he's holding *'SpongeBob:' Really? the bag and opens it up For me? What is it? out a rubber nose, mustache, and glasses disguise Oh! I love it! You DO know me, best friend! *'Patrick:' the same disguise I got a pair for me too! laughs *'SpongeBob:' Oh, you're the bestest, best friend Patrick! on his disguise How do I look? *'Patrick:' Screams How should I know, mysterious stranger?!? away, screaming. SpongeBob sighs. And the episode comes to a close *''SpongeBob is standing on a hill looking at his grandma's house]'' *'SpongeBob:' There it is! Grandma's house! What wonders await me today? Fresh-baked cookies? Story time? A sweater with love in every stitch? Aw, what am I waiting for? down the hill Grandma, Grandma, Grandma! *'Grandma:' SpongeBob! *'SpongeBob:' Hi, Grandma! her as the two walk into the kitchen *'Grandma:' Come in and sit for a while. SpongeBob a plate of cookies Have a cookie, SpongeBob! *'SpongeBob:' Grandma, you make the best cookies in the deep blue sea. a cookie and dips it in some milk Oh yeah... it. His eyes turn into cookies Grandma's cookies. *'Grandma:' Now, who wants to lick the spoon? raises his hand *'SpongeBob:' Me, me, me! to Grandma telling SpongeBob a story while he licks the spoon *'Grandma:' ...and then we drove all the way home with all the windows down in the freezing cold. *'SpongeBob:' Tell me another story about when I was a baby. clock strikes three. SpongeBob gasps Three o'clock? I'm gonna be late for work! *'Grandma:' Hop in my car, I'll drop you off. to Grandma driving up to the Krusty Krab *'SpongeBob:' Thanks, Grandma! out of the car *'Grandma:' SpongeBob, you forgot your kissy-kissy! turns around and heads back to Grandma. Squidward is watching from the window *'SpongeBob:' I sure did. gives him a kiss, leaving a red print on his forehead of her lips Bye, Grandma, thanks for the ride. opens the door for SpongeBob Thank you, Squidward. inside to some laughing from everyone Isn't this great? Everybody's in a good mood today. *'Squidward:' I love bursting your bubble, SpongeBob, but they're laughing at you, not with you. *'SpongeBob:' Did I do something funny? *'Squidward:' Your forehead. to the kiss *'SpongeBob:' My forehead is funny? *'Charlie:' Hey, hey, Grandma's boy? Kissy-kissy-kissy! laughs *'SpongeBob:' No, you're wrong! There's nothing wrong with getting kisses from your grandma. *'Charlie:' No, especially if you're a big baby who wears diapers! laughs And sucks his thumb, and plays with dolls, and, um... everyone stops laughing ...wears pajamas with feet in 'em, and carries his, um... blankie around, and... *'Customers:' All right already! *'Squidward:' Cheer up, SpongeBob. I know someone who still likes you. *'SpongeBob:' Really? You do, Squidward? *'Squidward:' Yeah, your grandma! laughs. SpongeBob tries getting the kiss off with his hand and a mop but nothing seems to work. Everyone is still laughing at him *'SpongeBob:' STOP IT! stops I have been publicly humiliated for the last time! out crying. Fade to SpongeBob's house *'Patrick:' I'm sorry that happened to you, SpongeBob. *'SpongeBob:' Me, too. *'Patrick:' You're the most adult person I know. *'SpongeBob:' Thanks, Patrick. *'Patrick:' You know how grandmas are, they love babies. You just can't act like a baby around her. *'SpongeBob:' You're right, Patrick. *'Patrick:' Have I ever not been right? to a picture of SpongeBob on a rocket, a picture of SpongeBob & Patrick in dapper suits and black boots, and a picture of SpongeBob and Patrick in black speedos You're a man now, SpongeBob, and it's time you starting acting like one. *'SpongeBob:' Yeah! Oh, but I'm not sure I know how. *'Patrick:' Allow me to demonstrate. First, puff out your chest. does so Now say "tax exemption." *'SpongeBob:' Tax exemption. *'Patrick:' Now, you must acquire a taste for free-form jazz. music plays Okay, SpongeBob, you're ready. to both walking up on the hill facing Grandma's house This is it. What're you gonna tell Grandma? *'SpongeBob:' I'm a grownup. *'Patrick:' No ifs, ands, or buts about it. *'SpongeBob:' A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. *'Patrick:' And then you get behind her and I'll push. *'SpongeBob:' Patrick, we didn't say that. *'Patrick:' Oh yeah, right. *'SpongeBob:' All we need now is the icing on the maturity cake. out a suitcase I've been growing these babies for years. it to reveal sideburns. Both of them take a pair and put them on *'SpongeBob & Patrick:' Sideburns. knocks on Grandma's door *'Grandma:' door Oh, hello, SpongeBob. What a nice surprise. Come here and give your Granny her kissy-kissy. she is about to kiss him, SpongeBob puts on a helmet to block it *'SpongeBob:' Sorry, grandmother, but the kissing has to stop. *'Patrick:' Tell her like it is, SpongeBob, no more baby stuff. *'SpongeBob:' He is right, Grandmother. Kisses are for babies, which I am no longer. I have grown up. It is nature's way. *'Grandma:' Oh, you are absolutely right. *'SpongeBob:' I am? I mean, of course I am. *'Grandma:' You will definitely not be treated like a baby around here anymore ever again. *'SpongeBob:' I am glad you see it my way, mother. on a hat *'Grandma:' Well, I'm glad that's settled. out a tray of cookies But what am I going to do with all these fresh baked cookies? *'SpongeBob:' chuckles Sorry, grandmother, we adults don't partake in the consumption of sweets, right, Pat... Patrick isn't there ...rick? to Patrick sitting at the kitchen table *'Patrick:' Keep 'em coming, Granny! down the cookies as SpongeBob watches from a window *'SpongeBob:' So much for no more baby stuff. *'Grandma:' And don't forget the cookie-eating hat! a red hat on top of Patrick's head *'SpongeBob:' Hey, that's my cookie-eating hat! I mean it was when I was a baby. on the door. His Grandma opens it *'Grandma:' Well, look who's here. It's my big old adult grandson. *'SpongeBob:' Grandmother, I need to have a mature conversation with Mr Patrick. up to Patrick Patrick, what do you think you're doing? Cookies? Warm milk? A bib? to it, which reads "I heart Grandma" Is that a kissy mark on your forehead? We are supposed to be adults''on the table'' *'Grandma:' Oh, oh, no roughhousing with a full tummy. Patrick Who's the baby? *'Patrick:' I'm the baby, I'm the baby, I'm the baby! clears his throat Being grown up is boring. I love being a baby. Besides, I don't get jazz. *'SpongeBob:' chuckles Poor Patrick. I almost feel sorry for you. out a pipe and blows bubbles from it Trapped in the awkward phase of diaper days never to know the rich rewards of being a grownup. comes back with more cookies *'Grandma:' Here's a fresh batch of cookies. *'Patrick:' All right! them Rewards, huh? *'SpongeBob:' Well, yeah, there's, eh... Patrick eating cookies with his mouth open well, let's see, the... cookie rolls over to his side We went over the jazz... grabs the cookie and eats it *'Patrick:' Oh, Grandma, I'm full. sets down another plate of cookies *'Grandma:' More cookies! uses his mouth like a vacuum and eats all the cookies. One cookie rolls over by SpongeBob *'SpongeBob:' It appears to be my lunch hour. Grownups have to eat to. I guess this will have to do. takes the cookie away *'Grandma:' Oh, you don't want this baby food. How about a big piece of steamed coral? him some *'SpongeBob:' Oh yeah, uh... great. a couple bites of it Nutritious. *'Grandma:' Storytime! runs to Grandma *'Patrick:' Oh boy! Storytime, storytime, storytime! *'SpongeBob:' Storytime? is looking over Grandma's shoulder *'Grandma:' You'll enjoy this, Patrick. It's a wonderful story about a magical sea leprechaun. walks in Oh, SpongeBob, you wouldn't be interested in this baby book. a giant book on the floor Here's the technical manual on routine active maintenance. *'SpongeBob:' Oh, uh... great. Yeah. the book Fascinating. No pictures, just the way I like it. eating a cookie, Patrick bites his finger leaving a big red bruise *'Patrick:' like a 2-year old Dow! My wittle finger! sobs *'Grandma:' Hold still, hold still. his finger All better? *'Patrick:' normally Sorta. up his other finger This finger hurts a little bit too. kisses his other finger *'Grandma:' How about I give you a present? *'Patrick:' Oh, boy, I hope it's cookies! up the box to find a sweater but puts it on his head Alright, another hat. *'Grandma:' No, Patrick, it's a sweater? *'SpongeBob:' Huh? *'Grandma:' With love in every stitch. *'SpongeBob:' No... himself in the sweater instead of Patrick. The sweater tears in half Don't I get a present, Grandma? *'Grandma:' Oh, I almost forgot. him some office supplies Here's some office supplies. I didn't wrap them. I knew you wouldn't mind. clock strikes three again Uh-oh, three o'clock, time for adults to go to work. Bye-bye, SpongeBob. *''gets the sweater on'' I'll bet you'd fancy a nap, huh, Patrick? yawns You still here, SpongeBob? *'SpongeBob:' Uh, I don't need to leave yet. I can be late for work. *'Grandma:' a blanket over Patrick as he lays on the couch No, no, no, that wouldn't be the adult thing to do. *'SpongeBob:' Alright, I guess I'll be going. I've, uh, got a lot of adult-type business to take care of, so, uh, I'll see yah later. *'Grandma:' Okay, thanks for stopping by, SpongeBob. *'SpongeBob:' Yep, that is it. Here I go. *'Grandma:' Come again if you get the chance. opens the door *'SpongeBob:' Out into the cold, grown-up world alone without a sweater. *'Grandma:' Toodleloo. *'SpongeBob:' I don't know when I'll be back. *'Grandma:' I know how busy you are. *'SpongeBob:' So, uh... that's it. is sleeping *'Grandma:' Shh, he's asleep. slowly closes the door *'SpongeBob:' Soo long... the door but then opens it with sad eyes. His sideburns fall off of him I don't wanna grow up! up a giant cookie and snaps it in half I want cookies! up a giant bottle And milky! a sweater I want a sweater with love in the stitches! around in a diaper putting powder in I wanna wear diapies! in a wagon I wanna ride in my wagon! his teddy bear I wanna cuddle-wuddle with Mr. Snuffykins! his rocking horse with a sailor hat on and a lollipop I wanna rocky-rock in my seahorsey! up his bruised finger And I want kissy-kissy on my boo-boo! this instant as he falls on the floor in his front body, slaming his fists on the floor. He then rolls like a wheel. Grandma is shocked and sad for him. SpongeBob sprays his tears in his mouth. He ratchets like a lawn sprinkler, almost spinning around and sprays tears everywhere. He spins even faster and floods the whole house *'Grandma:' Take it easy, SpongeBob. up SpongeBob SpongeBob? SpongeBob? SpongeBob's lips You don't have to be a baby to get ol' Grandma's love. *'SpongeBob:' sniffles I don't? *'Grandma:' Of course not. the plug under the water to drain it No matter how grown-up you get, you'll always be my little baby boo. his forehead And remember, you can kiss your grandma and still be an adult. SpongeBob his sideburns and a cookie Here you go. puts on his sideburns and eats the cookie *'SpongeBob:' Thanks, Grandma. the cookie Uh, Grandma, could you not mention this to the guys down at the Krusty Krab? *'Grandma:' No problem. SpongeBob. Outside, Squidward and everyone else are laughing